About

Native species of Brooklyn
now found mainly in
Southern California

Identification:
Low-maintenance haircut, sizable nose

Eating Habits:
Overwhelmingly strong aversion to cilantro

Observed Behavior:
• burping on NPR
• dressing up as sheep on Nighline
• zapping pickles for Oliver Sacks
• building pyramids for Fox
• whistling in German

 

 

 

Inhabits densly-populated areas of Los Angeles region, migrates to Western Washington annually

Identification:
Roughtly 5′ 6″
Sandpaper face

Eating Habits:
indiscriminate

Observed Behavior:
• communicates in arranged tones (see “song”)
• occasionally stops cursing out computers long enough to create 3d graphics